Today's thoughts...

So, love. What is it exactly? I don't think anyone actually knows. And I'm just intelligent and cynical enough to think about the possibility that its all just a throwback to our evolutionary ancestors picking the best candidate for the carrying on of their genetic material. I'm also just romantic enough to not be satisfied by that sort of thinking.

The hell of it is that like to know the way things work. I like a working definition of the things going on in my world, and when I don't have one I'm usually at a loss as to how to go about things.

Its just not so in this case. I know I love her in the same way I know I'm consciously breathing. It just sort of is, I don't have to think about it.

I know I love her because I love her.

I think about her when she is absent, I hold her and don't want to let go, I wake up at five thirty to drive for an hour to see her for twenty minutes, I smile when I think of her, I adore her quirks, she inspires me to write trite little poems like this:

In the cold and rainy winter,
On a stoop in mid-December,
I give to you this dying ember
In the hopes I will remember
That those things that did me hinder
Were farther out than they were in here,
And far more within the heart their sender
Than they were within my heart so tender,
And that those feelings that you engender
Are far more real and far more grander
Than were those in my past could master.
And so you make my heart beat faster,
And I pray that we shall last, Dear.

.... and make me extremely proud they were written.

I think and feel all the million other cliche things that men have thought and felt about women since the beginning of time.

I don't have a clue what love is, but I'm glad I've found it.